2nerds

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 12:06:12 GMT

So I finally open the lj update page for this journal once again. However, this is not a happy occasion. This is a post that I suppose has been years in the making. It is to talk about the death of my father. Out of respect for my family, I will refrain from giving the true cause of death, but at the very least say that because of a back injury, he had gone 48+ hours without sleep, thus weakening him beyond repair. On the evening of the 18th, he collapsed, and the evening of the 19th my mother gave the word to take him off life support.

My dad was not a bad dad by any means of the word. In fact, he was wonderful. He put his kids before himself in any situation. This is all a father needs to do to show his children that they are dearly loved. Later in life, he and I grew apart because of my distaste in how he was living his life. Unfortunately, I lived with him longer than I should have in order to fully forgive him, and in fact, before I left for Washington, I sat him down and had a few harsh words with him.

I do not regret this.

They were words he needed to hear and I can only hope for my mother's sake that he heard them. Last night, I got a call from my brother who did not live with him as long as I did and as such, was much much closer to him than I. They had grounds to connect on. They could talk about things my dad and I could never communicate well on. Talking to my brother was probably the hardest part of all of this. I always viewed my brother as strong, quiet type. I have never once in my 23 years seen him do anything other than smile, laugh or storm off in anger. Never have I witnessed him show such raw, tearful emotion as I listened to last night. It put him in such a new, human light for me, and though it took the passing of our father to get him there, he is there now. I see him as a brother. Not just as another person.

My poor, dear, sweet, wonderful mother. She has been so beautifully strong through everything. When I told her that I could in no way afford to be down there right now, she understood. She has been there for David when they turned off the life support, she has been there for me over the phone, and she has made phone calls to alert relatives. She knew what was happening when he first fell, and did not lead on at all until she called to say that he was in critical condition. Even then, she didn't say anything specific and remained so strong on the phone.

My mother also stood by my father through his darkest times. When his daughter was disgusted by his very sight, when he lost control, when he needed an extra shoulder to lean on she never left. Even through friends and even me telling her she should get out now which she could, she stayed put. She is the strongest person I know to have gone through everything with him, and my respect and love for her knows no bounds. I know she will probably be a little embarrassed my some of the things I have written in this journal entry, but I ask her to please understand that I have always expressed myself best through the written word. And everything I say is not meant to shame her, not meant to do anything but let people know that I love my family, living and now dead. We have had our arguments about such in the past, but just know that while I may complain, I still love each and every member of my family.

I love you mom, I love you David, and I love you dad.

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 14:28:01 GMT

Well hello there! Havent seen you in a while. How are you? Hows the wife? Kids doing ok? Great to hear! Me? Oh, I havent been up to much lately. Just work mostly. Still havent heard anything about working full time yet, but everything seems to be moving along smoothly. Every week I seem to be averaging more and more hours, so I should be able to get on some benefits sometime soon. We'll see though. I also seem to be coming down with something as well, but it happens. Just a mild cold I'm sure. Had my requisite sore throat all day yesterday which is a sure fire indicator that my immune system is in jeopardy.This is a good week for me to get sick though. I am working one day on and one day off all week it looks like, unless someone needs me to fill in for them. Which I will undoubtedly do because I am so nice, and everyone knows that this job pays my rent. I am still positively in LOVE with my job and I seem to be picking things up faster and faster every day. Theres a new girl there now whose first day was day before yesterday. I found myself telling her how to do things and helping her. That felt really good because I knew what I was doing and was able to help someone else learn. She seems to be a lot of fun too! Dan is still working quite a bit and within the next couple months should be getting a promotion to a high paid position, plus a set 40 hours a week with a set schedule. This is going to be great for us because he'll be bringing home more money which we will be able to start staving up. I've also implemented a new, healthier menu around this place as well. I always wanted to start eating healthier when I moved, but its difficult with dan. He may be a wonderful guy and all, but the boy just doesnt eat right, and I found myself right there with him, polishing off half a bag of chips between the two of us while sitting at the computer. I noticed bags from snacks and such building up on either side of the desk because we were too lazy to take them to the kitchen, and the soda cans just pile. Our dinners usually consisted of french fries or taquitos when they werent just plain rice (which I was ok with) and very rarely bean cheese and rice burritos (again, I was ok with this). It just all started to get too much for me, especially with the increase of my weight when we first moved up here. Since I dont have a regular exercize regimine yet, I said No more albertsons, where the threat of pre-packaged crap food is ever present. Because Trader Joe's is closer anyway, when it comes to grocery shopping for the dinner food we go there. I got a book of pasta recipes which has a few sauces and last night I discovered the joy of pesto tortalini with just a light olive oil. So now I am feeling much better about myself because I know I'm eating good stuff, but dan is rather hesitant to start eating healthy. I want to try to wean him of most of the crap food he eats, but he is being difficult. He seems to think that we just cant afford to eat healthy right now, which I assured him just isnt true. Trader Joe's has GREAT stuff thats good for you for really good prices. Other stuff we can still get at stores too, like milk is MUCH cheaper when dan gets it at walgreens, as are chips and such. But the main part is dinner which has been really bad as of late, so I am finally changing that. Also with Dan's new position, he'll be coming home earlier (no more 11pm shifts! Yay!) which means no more dinners at 11pm!

I really see some great changes on the horizon though. Things are going really really well up here. Still quite happy I made the move. I miss home and family from time to time as well, but I know I can always call home or call Wanda and that always makes me feel much better. :-)

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 03:21:43 GMT

So today was the magical first day of work. The day started off with a quick meeting and then at around 8:30am, the trucks arrived. There was the 53' and the 48'. My group got the 53' truck with the lazy driver. It is store policy that no employee is to set foot inside the truck, so the driver had to bring everything to the edge for us to take into the store to its designated area. From about 8:30 to 11:30 we unloaded the two trucks. At 11:40 or so, we got our lunch and were out of the store until 1. At 1 we met up again for another short meeting and unloaded a third truck. After unloading we split into groups and started unpacking. My group was unpacking candle holders. Mom, you would be SO in love. You would want me to bring home everything we unpacked. I thought of you SO much today haha! So we unpacked until 5pm. It went by so quickly. Now I am sitting at home after a dinner of chinese food, dan is out with his friend, and I am enjoying a moment of silence and serenity and lack of cardboard! I am tired, I am smelly, I am sore, and I am so in love with my job it hurts!! I could not be happier with my decision to go with Pier1.

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 22:13:36 GMT

Well, I just returned from my interview with Pier1. Now. Not only do the full medical, dental and vision benefits start after 3 months, but they will be paying me a lot more than Hallmark and I'll be working with a lot of girls my own age. Even my manager looks to be only a few years older. I am really really excited about this job and can hardly wait to start. There will be a meeting on the 23rd to fill out paperwork and go over the ground rules and expectations, then they get the keys to the new store on Marck 13th. Hopefully they'll have me working before then. Jen, the manager seemed really excited about me, "I would LOVE to have you work here" so...HOORAY! On top of that, Dan has continually been surprising me with little heart shaped boxes of chocolates today. One was in the medicine cabinate, one was in the washing machine, and the last one (with a dvd of Shrek 2) was in the dryer. He's a sneaky little thing. Oh well. I told him no gifts this year...but he claims he got all these before I said anything. I'll probably volunteer to pay for dinner tonight since he has done so much today.

Today is a very good day so far.

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 22:24:08 GMT

So, interestingly enough, yesterday I got a call from Hallmark. The manager said that some of her employees want to cut back on their hours, thus freeing up hours for me. She even said the words "Full Time Hours." I told her that sounded great and would come in on Saturday at 9 to work until 1. Feeling very pleased I went out shopping for a few new work shirts today. Upon my and dan's return home, we sit and watch some TV and eat lunch until the phone rings. Dan goes to look at the caller ID and wouldn't you know it, but it was Pier1! The manager gave me a quick phone interview and seemed to love me, and wanted to set up an in person interview, so Monday at 1, I get to interview at Pier1! Now if you'll recall, Pier1 was my first choice. While it may be a little further drive, I think I would have much more fun because I'd be working with a bunch of girls my age, AND they offer benefits and full time. While Hallmark would be a fun job, I'd feel like I was stealing the high school kid's afterschool hours if I worked there. Its really not much of a step up from Out of the Blue I feel, hence my lack of pure excitement at the prospect of working there.

I shall keep you all updated, however, as to which place I end up working at. Signs are pointing to Pier1 at the moment though...

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 00:22:12 GMT

well, I return from my interview with a heavy heart. While they DID want to hire me, I couldnt accept. They're looking for someone part time only and no benefits. Alas. The job hunt reluctantly continues.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 23:08:17 GMT

So yesterday began the great job hunt '05. Dan and I walked around downtown Kirkland in the pouring rain carting around my job applications and letters of recommendation. There really didnt seem to be much besides clothing, furniture and restaurants, but I did drop off an application at a little pet store and one at Hallmark. I really wasnt expecting much because both places said they weren't sure of they were still hiring, but they took my applications anyway saying they whould show them to their owner/manager. We walked home, and I felt a little defeated, though it did feel GREAT to get out and walking around in the rain.

Today I was taking a bubble bath and was almost finished when I heard the phone ring. Assuming it was either dan or a friend of mine, I just let it ring and paid no mind figuring that if it was Dan, he would leave a message, and if it was my friend (we have caller ID) I would just call her back. Eventually I get out and go check the answering machine. Theres a message! I listen, expecting to hear dan, but NO! It was, in fact, Yvonne from Hallmark saying she had reviewd my application and would like me to come in for an interview! GLEE! So I promptly called her back and set up a time to go in (tomorrow at 4). Now here's hoping they love me and want to hire me and give me lots of money and medical benefits!

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 06:19:50 GMT

Well, we finally got the pictures of the first (and last) snowfall. These pictures were taken at Dan's brother's house...

Its a tree...With snow...

My car

Fenix checking out the ducks that I didnt take a picture of playing around in the slush

The parking lot/building across the way

An attempt to photograph the ducks below...

It looks like Christmas!

Cant tell me thats not pretty....

And mom, especially for you...

Santa came late!!

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 22:33:23 GMT

Hello everybody! I realize it has been a while since our last update...I would like to say its because we have just been busy busy busy, but alas. I've just been slacking on the updating. Lets see, Dan is still gainfully employed over at walgreens and has his eye on a new position that would give him more money and less time behind the counter. Which is wonderful! Lets hope it works out. As for myself, the job I was hoping for with Pier 1 has fallen through, so I need to just go outside and start handing out an application and my letters of recommendation. I come very highly recommended, so hopefully that, and the fact I never leave a job after a short period of time will get me a good retail position. I also got approved for Blue Shield insurance which is lovely because I may have to go get my back looked at. About a week and a half ago I was moving things around in the living room, setting up, moving in and such, when I pulled a muscle in my deep lower back. For a while it was hard to even walk, but it started feeling better after a while. However, last night I was putting away some laundry and I think the repeated bending over and standing up straight triggered it because it started to ache. I, of course being EVER so smart, decided to ignore it and go walking around seattle with a friend. Well as soon as I got home, I was flat on my back again. Oi! I took some Ibuprofen this morning though, and have been icing it off and on, so it should be better soon. I'm not sure what this is going to do for my job status either...I really would rather not have a desk job and be able to work in retail with the public and such, as thats what I love...but if I cant even pick things up without my back hurting...ugh...Oh well.

In somewhat happier news, I seemto be making a few friends now! I've met a couple people from the internet who have been really nice. One I go walking around seattle with sometimes to go shopping. I'm not used to city shopping yet though. I feel like such a small towner walking past all those high end shops. First my brain goes into, YOU CANT AFFORD THAT! mode...Then it goes into YOU CANT FIT INTO THAT! mode...And by that time I've walked past the store and am on to the next. I really do look like a tourist walking around though. I never look straight ahead. I'm usually looking straight up, or in all the shop windows. I suppose this is good for my wallet, seeing as I still cant bring myself to buy anything thats more expensive than Target brand. Oh well. Its not like I really need clothes at the moment. I have plenty. I need to concentrate on a dining room table first. And a bigger TV. Dan will NOT quit whining about how small my TV is. Every time theres a sale at Best Buy or Circuit City or some such electronics store, he's telling me about it. We'll get one eventually...I just dont see the point in getting one now when we have a perfectly good, almost working TV at the moment (I say almost working because its just fine, but if you are trying to change the channels with the buttons on the actual TV itself, you cant go down. You have to use the remote. Not a huge deal. It still works).

Other than that, things are really very lovely up here. Every day I am just amazed at how beautiful everything is. Even driving to the city you drive past thousands of trees. Its just amazing. I am so SO happy I made this move. Nothing could bring me back right now if they tried.

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 23:08:37 GMT

Also, just a little request. When replying, if you are anonymous, please sign your comment so I know who you are. Thanks!!

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 23:07:35 GMT

Well arright then!
So we finally got the keys to the apartment. Got stuff thrown in, ran back to Dan's brother's and got mr Dan dressed and off to work. Now I'm here updating and working on my resume. Whee. The place is really cute. Its small, but thats ok. It's just me and him, so we dont need a whole bunch of space. As long as I have another room where I can run away to and scream should I need to, I'm good. Dude. The bathroom counter design...So, most bathrooms have this faux marble or other faux hard surface counter top design right? Not us! Ours is this weird, woven rope design thing that looks so out of place for a bathroom that I just started laughing! Oh well. Pictures to follow someday when I get my pics devloped and my scanner fixed. No snow today. In fact, it was sunny! I suddenly feel like I'm home again. Whats the weather today? SURPRISE!!

Also, a really HUGE thank you to my mom. She is amazing. Because I'm currently unempoloyed, she offered to cosign for the apartment. Now because of this, there was some extra paperwork that had to go out before we could move on. Lady A told not only me and Dan but also my mother that one last piece of paperwork needed to be completed before we could be moved in, but she would go ahead and give us the keys anyway because she knew the paper would be signed and notorized today. Dan and I go in this morning and not only has the paper not been faxed back, but Lady B (the property manager) is there and says we cant have they keys before the paper is faxed back! GRAR! So I call my mom and ask her if she has the paperwork. Nope! They said they faxed it yesterday!! Calls are made between mom, property people and me and finally Lady A gets Lady B out of the office for a minute so she can explain that she was going to just give us the keys because she knows we're good for the paperwork, but lady B is super strict about such things, hence us not getting the keys. So Lady A faxes the paper 3 more times, and FINALLY mom gets it (she was skippiung her lunch break to get the paper, sign it, get it notorized and fax it back!!!!!!!!!) and sends it in. So what was supposed to be done by noon, was finally finished about 10 minutes before dan had to be at work all because lady B didnt know what was going on and was being stupid and not listening...or something...I realize she's the manager and isnt always there to understand the special circumstance people, but damnit, I need someone to be upset with. So she gets to be it. I am just SO greatful for my mom and all she has done for me and Dan as of late. She really is amazing.

So now off to write my resume and send out applications online. Whee!!

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 19:36:37 GMT

Step one of world domination has been completed.
Dan and I got up here last night around 7pm after 2 full days of driving. We left Carmel around 2 and headed up to Novato to see some friends before we headed on our way. At around 7 after a lovely meal of banboo chopsticks (the local chinese fast food joint) we hopped in the car and started the drive. Dan being the little driver that he is INSISTED upon driving first...which was fine as I was already halfway asleep. We drove for a few hours and made our first stop at a little gas station in some place that started with a C...Great little shop though. Almost got myself a neck pillow thats made of that really squishy, stretchy materiel...but it was 14.99 so I resisted. Dan got himself an AMP and some candy and we hit the road again after filling up gas. Our next stop didnt come until Oregon. Graveyard shift workers are always the best. They really dont care about being polite...They know you've probably been on the road a while and rea really tired, so they just chat it up with you while you stretch and yawn making strange noises. Once again on the road, we hit the mountains. Dan mentioned how he was glad there was no snow...until he looked out the window and saw the snow banks on the side of the road...oops...Luckily, we didnt hit any real snow, and instead got icy rain...whoopie...We got through it safey though (Dan really is a great driver) and made our next stop in Milwaukie...No, we didnt get horribly lost, there really is a milwaukie Oregon. We got to Sara's place (a really good friend of mine who I havent seen in about 2 years) and she and I talked while Dan crashed on the couch.

Heres something about dan. He is a champion sleeper. A marathon sleeper. He can sleep through dogs barking, kids playing, two girls who havent seen each other in years that cackle like witches...Sara and I just HAD t take advantage of this since I had my camera. First stage was 2 clothes pins in the hair, a baloon tiger and a diet coke bottle. Second stage was 2 clothes pins in the hairm tiger baloon, diet coke bottle and a little hotwheels truck. Third stage we removed the tiger baloon and the truck, but replaced them with a string of christmas lights and tinsel. Stage four was going to include makeup, but alas, the movement of the christmas lights awoke our sleeping beauty and sara fell on the floor unable ton silence her laughter any further. yes, photos were taken of all and shall be devloped and scanned soon. By Dan. Who has no idea what we put on him. MWAHAHAHA!

After Sara's, we headed north and up to Kirkland. This was our destination. During this portion ogf the drive, we got in contact with the apartment people and were told tahe we indeed DO have the place, but not officially. We got to Dan's brother's house and crashed quite happily. Today I tell you our first story from the arm of the couch with a very sore back and little to no voice, but thats ok. We're here. And the first step is complete. We should be hearing from the apartment today and I have my fingers crossed for move-in tomorrow. As Mario would say at the beginning of Mario64, Here we go!